Essay Generator

Our robot typist

Our robot typist

Are you an obsessive fan of my academic papers, but frustrated because I produce so few of them? Do you wish that a web application existed to display infinite, randomized variations of my writings? No?

Then wish no longer! Just plug in the number of paragraphs you want to see and run.

The page runs a Markov Chain algorithm on all the papers I have written in Graduate School. (It’s really simple: the chain is of word pairs, each of which contains a list of the most likely words to follow the pair; the program then moves through the chain in random fashion). I exclude undergraduate writings because of their scurrilous use of exclamation points—and such punctuation, as you know, is akin to laughing at your own jokes. I will add more of my writings to the probability tree in the years ahead.

Paragraphs